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Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
6:00 am - Question:

Should an 18 yr old woman be allowed to date a 24 yr old man with a 3 yr old child?

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Thursday, May 29th, 2003
8:01 pm

how can i be so depressed and have no one notice?

happy right now. still feeling depressed yucky. i'm tierd of feeling so sick

current mood: drained

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Sunday, September 22nd, 2002
4:58 pm - What really tips my cork screw..whatever that means..

Ya know what really makes me mad..when ever I go to the bathroom and someone had tinkled all over the potty chair..It's very nasty..why do they do it? WHY CAN'T THEY JUST WIPE IT OFF???

One of these days I'm gonna put the lid down and peepee all over it then walk away and just leave it there..Maybe they'll learn their lesson..see how much they like cleaning up someones urine..

current mood: aggravated

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Wednesday, August 28th, 2002
9:40 pm - ...

I can already feel myself break.
I didn't get to see Rob today. His lesson ran over and he just didn't have the time.
His phone died. He never called to tell me he wasn't coming.
I thought if I napped, when I woke up he'd call, and I'd hear his reason, and everthing would be just fine.
I woke up and talked to him for a few minutes. Even though I love and forgive him... in the end I felt worse.
Maybe I'm just finally realising that i'm not meant to be with anyone.
I'm so fucked up how could anyone love me?
I'm kidding myself, I really am. My whole life has been god's sick joke.
I lay in a comatose state for about an hour today.
Just layed and cried and stared into the empty void that is my life.
My mom sat next to me the whole time waiting for me to snap out.
As you can tell I have, though not fully.
First thing I did was shower. I collapsed to the floor and envisioned my blood and the water mixing together and swirling down drain.
I watched the blood pour down my arms and drop into the water.
It was beautiful.
I wanted to, I really did.
I wanted to make them so deep that the blood would just rush out. It wasn't enough to think about it... I i wanted to see it.
I want to know I'm alive. I need to see that I can still bleed.
No one will see my vision though. They just can't see the beauty of it all.
I don't think I could ever kill myself, don't worry.
How many people will believe that though?
My sanity is slipping away fast... I don't know who I am anymore... Did I ever though?

current mood: melancholy

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Monday, August 26th, 2002
11:21 am - grumble grumble.

this morning I went out for breakfast with mumsy. and because I don't like eating, or food in general, I ended up with 2 peices of toast. honestly, there was nothing on the entire menu that I could have put in my mouth. is there something wrong with me? I don't like eggs. I don't like vegetables. I don't like english muffins. I don't like pancakes. or waffles. I didn't want meat for breakfast. I didn't want fast food of any kind. no grilled cheese. no salad. I don't like soup. they didn't have french fries. I finally decided that right at that moment I wanted some plain egg noodles. PLAIN. nothing on them. first I wanted them with butter, but I think I would have liked them more if they were completely plain. we left and mom wanted a coffee from starbucks, and she got me one too. I got a coconut creme frapacino without the coconut peices. because I don't like coconut. what the hell?? why do I do that? I can't eat anything, and if I do it has to be as plain as possible. I wish I could go to a restaurant and order an omelette with every vegetable in it, but just looking at omelettes makes me sick. I really think there's something wrong. gah. I think I'm gonna go try to write a normal post now.


current mood: aggravated

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Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
10:54 pm - *sigh*

If any of ya'll read my journal then you all probably know that I'm obsessed with my ex bf who is a total jerk..I posted a entry in my journal..you can read if you like..Right now I'm reading Emily's journal and it's ticking me off soo badly..she seems soo stupid..

current mood: depressed

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8:20 pm - pity me


What Kind of Goth Are You?

This dark quiz was made by Xenianth!

current mood: bored

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3:16 pm - oh the misery

I would be depressed that school is starting, but OH WAIT I'm a stupid whore and I didn't apply for college! so school ISN'T starting for me, which means I get to sit on my ass and mope while everyone else does something with their lives! :D


current mood: aggravated

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12:09 pm - Look at me, I'm an angst ridden youth

I'm the first to post! That means my life sucks most!
I'm a poet and i didn't know it.

School starts soon, that's enough to put anyone spiraling into a neverending depression.

current mood: pessimistic

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